Brunch Experiments

  Today I had a good friend and her two boys (3 and 5) over for brunch.  What they didn't realize is that I was experimenting with them... testing out two new WW recipes.  Could I fool them into thinking that these were fully-leaded, traditional bad-for-you foods?  The game was on.

   I decided to make Bacon, Egg, and Cheddar Cups, along with Blueberry-Peach Yogurt Parfaits, then juice, milk, coffee and toast on the side.  Everything looked yummy and smelled yummy (at least to me), but what would my test subjects think??

   Here are a few pictures of my masterpieces:

 
   The parfaits turned out a little more... PURPLE than I expected, but I'm thinking that is due to the fact that I had to use canned peaches instead of fresh (because apparently you can't buy a peach in Minnesota in November.  Who knew?).  So I think the blueberries sort of had their way with the peaches in the saucepan, and succeeded in a hostile take-over.  Oh well.  It's not all about aesthetics.  Still looks pretty, just more in a purple-people-eater kind of way...

    And then the lovely egg cups.  I think these are adorable.  I actually went and bought these custard cups just for this recipe (they were less than $8 for four at Wal-Mart, so not a huge investment, but definitely huge rewards in terms of cuteness).  These have Canadian bacon, egg, cheddar cheese (reduced fat), sliced cherry tomatoes, and fat-free crushed Italian croutons on top.  I don't think brunch gets much cuter than this, folks.

    So how did the test subjects respond to such purple, cute, and tasty stimuli?

 Look at that smile!!

   A thumbs up!  I'd call this brunch experiment a success.  The test subjects responded positively to the experimental stimuli, and left the lab satisfied.

   Also, for an update on my progress, as of my meeting yesterday, I am down 7.8 pounds!  Yippee!!

Woah... Reality Check

   I was in a dear friend's wedding last weekend and I had a fabulous time.  I loved the dress I wore, I loved the way my hair turned out, I felt really pretty that day, and the wedding was a blast.  Today however, the photos turned up, and I started to feel less good about my appearance that day.  My entire feeling about the whole day changed drastically.  My formerly good feelings of confidence and pride about how nice I looked all gussied up were almost instantly replaced with a compulsive urge to un-tag myself in each and every one of those pictures on Facebook so that no one would see the embarrassing state I let myself get into over the past year.  However, I decided to refrain from the un-tagging party.  Those pictures will remain an active part of my profile.

   It occurred to me that defaulting to the cowardly act of un-tagging every time an unflattering picture of me surfaces, then I am going to miss out on having fun memories of special events that I was involved in.  The point is not what I looked like.  Instead, its about the fun time I had, and remembering those events for what they are, not what I looked like.  I need to learn to take the focus off of my appearance, and learn to enjoy things for the experience.  I can't let my perception of my appearance dictate whether or not I enjoy things.  I've spent too many special occasions obsessing about how I appear to others, rather than having a fun time with the important people in my life.  Right now, I am a work in progress and I need to remember that I am working toward a goal, but while I'm going through this process, I am allowed to have fun as well.

   I realized that there is a HUGE disparity between what I see and interpret in the mirror versus what I actually look like.  The photos are proof that my mental image of myself and the actual image are vastly different.  I'm chalking this up to the insanely fast weight gain that happened this past year.  My mind has not caught up to my body and I am still imagining myself as smaller than I actually am.  You might think that this would cause a problem, but I think it is a reality check that I needed.  When you imagine yourself healthier than you actually are, it is easy to become lax with the motivation to change.  With the reality check that these pictures provided, I have renewed motivation to keep up with WW and my crusade to get healthy because I am not happy or comfortable where I am right now.

   I've thought a lot about this, and I've come to a conclusion that I hope will keep me motivated throughout this journey: It is going to take TIME to get to my goal, however, every week that goes by that I am closer to that goal, is another week where I can look and feel better than the week before.  The concept of "baby steps" is incredibly frustrating for me (I am a big fan of instant gratification), but I need to embrace it.  Right now I am just going to focus on getting to the 10 pound mark (right now I am at 6.6 pounds lost).  And I am going to keep the wedding pictures up to remind myself to stay motivated (I'm also going to try to hang on to the good feelings I had about how I looked that day, and get rid of the bad ones).  Here are a few pics from the day.  I think everyone looked absolutely beautiful and I wish my friends Michelle and Barry a very happy future together!
 

   The bride is my beautiful friend Michelle.  The other bridesmaids are (in order left to right) the bride's sister, Mary, me, and the bride's daughter, Adrienne.  The flower girl is Michelle's niece, Madison.

   This is the whole wedding party.

  And finally, what has been dubbed my "Secret Agent 007" picture.  Bad ass.  You'd think my flowers could transform into an uzi...

Spaghetti Squash Fail.

   I was seduced last week by several WW members that were singing the praises of the spaghetti squash.  They said it was an awesome substitute for pasta, would be a great way to incorporate vegetables, and just in general pretty much rocked.  A vegetable as an alternative for pasta?  Seriously?  I was skeptical, but decided to drink the Kool-Aid and give it a whirl.  What was the worst that could happen?

   So I went to the store, armed with a Google image of what this stupid thing was supposed to look like.  Fortunately for me, the Googling was not necessary because there was a sticker on the thing telling me exactly which one was the infamous and magical spaghetti squash.  I placed it in my cart, already feeling superior to those around me because I was making a decidedly healthy choice over their Doritos and TGI Friday's boxed, frozen appetizers.  Huzzah.

   I finished my shopping and brought my new prized possession home.  Behold:

   THE MIGHTY SPAGHETTI SQUASH.  Complete with idiot-proof label and cooking instructions.  I was ready to conquer this beast.  Step #1: it had to die:

   ... and have it's guts scraped out...

   GUTTTTTS....

 
   Thus far, this was turning out to be exceedingly similar to carving a pumpkin, one of my favorite fall activities.  Also, it occurs to me as I am writing this that the poor squash really was subjected to a medieval-style execution.  Clearly it was a treasonous squash to incur such a punishment. In any event, I was beginning to feel like a caveman that had just discovered fire.  This.  Was.  AWESOME.

   Next, I put  both halves in the microwave for 10 minutes, as suggested by the directions.  When the microwave was done, I brought out my glorious conquest and dove in to begin the fun part; scraping the insides with a fork to make the lovely noodle shaped pieces like I'd seen on the YouTube video showing how to prepare a spaghetti squash.  It was at this moment that my confidence began to waver... I wasn't getting the nice noodly shapes I was expecting, despite my correct fork-scraping technique.  Also, I tasted a small piece and it was unpleasantly crunchy.  I am not an al dente pasta fan, so crunchy noodles are simply not acceptable.  In the hope of fixing the crunchy texture and still achieving the perfect pasta substitute, I put the thing back in the microwave for another five minutes.  This slightly improved the crunchy texture, but I was still not seeing the result I was hoping for.

   My next step was to try to saute the not-very-noodly-squash-insides-that-were-actually-more-like gobs-of-wet-dryer-lint with some olive oil and garlic (as suggested by one of the WW members).  Maybe that would improve the consistency and magically morph this yellow glop into pasta...

   Still not pasta.  But I resolved to be a trooper and pretend anyway.  So I finished preparing the additional elements of my dinner to top the yellow crap I had just haphazardly prepared.  So I sauteed some sausage...

  ... added some tomato pasta sauce...

... and then topped my "spaghetti" with the sausage, sauce and some mozzarella cheese.  The end result looked pretty at least:

   I made a valiant effort to eat my creation in its entirely but I am sad to report that I failed.  I got through about a third of it, then proceeded to just pick out the sausage and cheesy bits and leave the nasty squash behind.  I suppose I should clarify that no, I did not expect a vegetable to taste and feel exactly like pasta, but I was hoping for a bit more of a similarity than what actually transpired in my kitchen.  Even though I am a die-hard squash hater, I still gave the icky spaghetti squash a try and now I can honestly say GROSS when someone asks if I like it or not.  My answer is a great big "hell no".  Oh well.  At least now I know.  On to bigger and better things.  I'm thinking my next experiment will be an eggplant.  Recipe ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Heck Yes.

So my first week back on WW and attending meetings yielded a loss of 3.2 pounds.  And that was even with 2 days in Wisconsin Dells that involved multiple trips to the "Sweet Shop".  Kick ass.

Lasagna is Awesome. Incidentally, so am I.

   New recipe time!  As you know, I returned to WW meetings last week, and there was an especially delectable looking recipe in the "Getting Started" materials that I had to try.  The recipe was for slow-cooker lasagna.  Having an insatiable lust for all things cheese, pasta and tomato related, naturally the recipe was irresistible.  So today was experiment day.  I am happy to report that it turned out FABULOUSLY!  The following is a pictorial depiction of my cooking experience.

   First, a look at the simple ingredients involved in today's culinary success:

  Next, the creation of the sauce.  It is still surprising to me that one can actually make really yummy pasta sauce without having to actually purchase pasta sauce in a jar.  All I did here was use a can of crushed tomatoes and a can of plain tomato sauce, and mix it with ground beef, onion, garlic, and a few spices.  It tastes just as good as the pasta sauce out of a jar, but I'll bet its a whole lot healthier, and lets be honest, few things smell better than sauteing onion and garlic.  Here is my concoction:

  Now we get to the awesome building phase.  There is something about layering food that is very amusing.  I think it has something to do with satisfying my OCD tendencies... First I put a layer of sauce in the bottom of the crock pot, then a layer of no-cook lasagna noodles (the coolest invention ever), and finally a layer of the ricotta/mozzarella mixture.  Repeat.  Easy-peasy!

  Then comes my favorite part of any crock-pot related recipe.  COOKING.  Set that baby on low and forget about it for 4-6 hours!

   This is why the crock-pot is so magical.  All of the above steps happened around noon today.  Then I was able to leave the house, run a few errands, come home, watch a movie, and smell the glorious lasagna smell all afternoon.  Then it was as if I had my own personal chef in the kitchen who had just made me dinner when it came time to eat tonight!  Love it!  The last step in the recipe is to top the finished product with some mozzarella and parmesan, and put the lid back on for about 10 minutes so it gets all melty and gooey.  Behold:

    CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESY.

   I added a slice of garlic bread and viola!!  Dinner is ready!

   And since this recipe makes 6 servings, I have enough to last me for several more meals!  I'm going to try to freeze a couple of them and see how that goes...

   I'll admit the finished product is a little bit messy.  There are no lovely layered squares to look at, but who cares!  It doesn't have to be pretty as long as it tastes good!  I was actually surprised by the amount of food included in one serving (especially the cheese), but according to WW, the whole works is only 10 points per serving.  Heck yes.

   All in all, I'd say this recipe was a culinary success in my kitchen today.  Score for WW.  I heart cheese.

OK. Secret Time...

   It is no secret that I haven't written here in quite a while.  I'll be honest and tell you it is because I have been on one hell of a bender.  Chocolate galore.  Pizza here, gyros there.  Clearly, eating copious amounts of CRAP is a very ingrained, unhealthy coping mechanism of mine.  But I think I've finally reached the point where I am ready to knock it off and start doing the right things.  This has become clear because I am going to make a public declaration about what I intend to do about it.  So here goes...

   I am re-joining Weight Watchers meetings.  Yup.  There.  I said it.

   As some of you may or may not know, I was a very successful Weight Watcher several years ago, and I lost almost 50 pounds on the program.  At the time I was very shy about telling people what I was doing because it felt almost shameful to admit that I needed help in getting myself healthy.  In fact, I hid my membership from most people. But this time around, I've changed my attitude about it.  There is nothing wrong with admitting I need help and letting those around me know that I am strong enough to ask for it and seek it out.  So this Saturday morning, I will be attending my first meeting of (what had freaking better be) the last time I "re-join" Weight Watchers.

   I am actually very excited about jumping in and working on ending all of the self-destructive behaviors I've picked up over the past year (due to stress, emotional upheaval, and ineffective coping mechanisms).  Seriously, chocolate has been a better therapist than the most decorated psychiatrist.  But chocolate (coupled with all of the other crap I've ingested) has also seriously affected my body and my health, and it is time to call it quits, once and for all.

   I am not worried in the least that the program won't work for me.  To the contrary, I have hard evidence to prove that it will.  First, I myself have been successful in the past.  50 pounds is nothing to sneeze at.  Second, I have several close friends who have also kicked some serious tail while on the program.  They, (one in particular... you know who you are... cheese and Arabic) have definitely inspired me and have given me clear proof that it is possible to shed the insane poundage that I have acquired, and become a healthier version of myself.  I've also become inspired by reading about stranger WWers and the battles and victories they've experienced.  In particular, I am terribly fond of "Bitch Cakes", a New York WWer who's blog is a constant source of inspiration and reality checks.  She makes it clear that no one is perfect and that no weight-loss journey will be perfect, but that its OK, as long as you keep on going and don't give in to the cheese-pizza-chocolate despair.

   So here we go.  I'm kicking this thing off Saturday morning and I am actually going to DO IT this time.  I've reached a place where the emotional disaster my mind has been in is starting to heal and I am not living in a black hole anymore where nothing matters, especially not my health or waistline.  I am excited to re-claim myself, feel healthier, and do the right things for me.  Weight Watchers will be the vehicle that I use to get myself there, and I am choosing not to hide it or feel ashamed about it.  There is nothing wrong with asking for, and seeking out help.  I have proven to myself, that I can't effectively do this on my own, so I am going out and finding the tools that I need to fix this.

   So, now the cat is out of the bag.  No need to worry about truly heinous secrets that I could have been hiding instead.  Its not like I've taken up a crack addiction or anything... 

Cake Diet = Win. My Week = Fail.

  I was in the company of some very good pals this morning when one of them informed me of her new "diet" plan.  She called it the Cake Diet.  The cake diet???  Clearly, I was instantly intrigued.  It simply consists of replacing meals with... CAKE.  Clearly she is a genius.  And clearly this is a farce and intended only for entertainment purposes/coping mechanisms for those of you out there thinking "man, Megan has some weird friends if they think a cake diet is a good idea".  However, there come times in a woman's life when if cake sounds like a sufficient meal replacement, then MORE FREAKING POWER TO YOU AND GET OUT OF MY WAY SO I CAN EAT SOME BLASTED CAKE!!  I would love to have the disciple to succeed on a cake diet, but alas, I am not a good candidate.  In fact, I am a known cake killer.  Cake poisoner to be exact.  When I have cake in the house, and I know I need to be responsible, I take drastic measures to make sure that I do not consume it.  I have actually sprayed the left-overs of a cake with Windex before I threw it away to ensure that I wouldn't have a "Miranda moment" and in a moment of weakness dive for the discarded cake in the garbage (if you don't watch "Sex and the City", then this scenario is going to sound WAY weirder than it already does). 

   However I wish my friend the best of luck and if she patents a Cake Diet program, then I expect some royalties for being the first to tout its praises...

   So Cake Diet aside, this week was something less than great...  I did really well last week sticking to the no chocolate and healthy eating, however this week I was met with a new and evil nemesis.  RED VELVET CAKE ICE CREAM.  Oh dear lord, I am no match for its red velvety goodness.  It was seriously like crack.  I couldn't stay away! It called to me from the freezer. I think I finished the whole carton in no less than two days (thus my 2 pound gain this week... fail).  I am vowing to never bring its evil persuasiveness into my apartment again because I cannot be responsible for my actions if it is present (and I don't want to subject it to my Windex punishment).  And yes, despite the fact that it is red, red velvet cake is simply chocolate cake with a hell of a lot of red food coloring, so I also failed on my "NO CHOCOLATE UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY" mission.  All in all, its been a crap-tastic health week.  You'd think it would have taken longer to fall off the wagon, but I apparently wanted to get it over with early...

   So here is to renewed accountability and to a better week.  No more evil red velvet ice cream in the house.  It is the devil (maybe that is why it's red...)

Soo... apparently it's working...

Week 1 with no chocolate = 3.8 pounds went away.  Maybe there is some method to the madness.  :)

I Should Have Seen It Coming...

   It has officially been one week since I quit chocolate.  Surprisingly, I haven't died.  Although I was going through my camera this afternoon and noticed a couple of pictures that I was going to use for a blog about how my lunch attacked me one morning.  Then it hit me.  Maybe... chocolate has been actually secretly trying to kill me...  From what I can remember of that morning, I was putting my lunch together and I was scooping some chocolate pudding into one of my plastic containers to bring to work.  Through some series of unfortunate events that I can't recall anymore, I believe the pudding either blew up, went rogue, or spontaneously combusted in some fashion because before I knew it, there was chocolate pudding everywhere.  Including all over me.  Behold:

 
   Not cool, chocolate.  Not cool.
 
 

I Got Skillz.

  I made a new recipe for dinner tonight!  I was feeling ambitious, so I chose spinach and ricotta filled agnolotti with tomato basil sauce.  I don't even know how to pronounce agnolotti, but the recipe looked yummy, it was one that I've had bookmarked for quite a while, so in the spirit of renewed healthy eating, I gave it a whirl. 

   To start with, you have to wilt a bunch of spinach (which is actually really fun to watch... imagine the melting scene from the Wizard of Oz and replace the witch with a bunch of leaves).  Then you saute the spinach/wicked witch with onions, garlic and a bit of olive oil.  Then you take the whole thing, and puree it in the food processor.  The result looked a whole lot more like green baby puke than I was intending, but once you add the ricotta and other ingredients it resembled a nice pesto rather than infant bile, so I was willing to continue cooking... The next step is putting a dollop of the green goo in the middle of a wonton wrapper, folding it over and sealing the sides so the goo doesn't escape.  Repeat 34 times.  This is what the process looked like:

  When you are all done filling and sealing, you get a whole bunch of cute little triangles of joy!  This is just the first few, by the time I was done the whole cookie sheet was filled.

   Next, I made a super easy tomato sauce made of another drop of olive oil, a can of diced tomatoes, fresh basil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder.  Finally, I simply boiled the green joy triangles for a couple of minutes (I had two that exploded, but the rest survived), and viola!!!  Dinner is served!

  It was way more awesome that I expected it to be, considering the icky baby vomit resemblance from the puree-ing stage.  All in all, I can say that I will most definitely make this again (but maybe on a day when I have time to let them sit in the fridge for 2 hours to firm up... I'm thinking this is the cause of the two explosions...)  The best part is, they are super low cal.  Per serving, the stats are: 235 calories, 4.7g fat, 10.4g protein, 38.5g carbs, 5g fiber.
  
   This was the first recipe I tried from a cookbook that I think I stole from my Mom's bookcase a while back (sorry Mom!).  Its called Cooking Light, and it's a collection of their annual recipes from 1999.  A bit dated, but hey, still a yummy dinner.  It is obvious from this evening that I have mad skillz in the kitchen.  Bobby Flay had better watch his back. 

Cold Turkey.

   Hello.  My name is Megan, and I'm a chocoholic.  I say this with only the slightest bit of jest, because it is undeniably true.  I am not capable of having chocolate in my house, at the office, or in the immediate vicinity really, without feeling an overwhelming and debilitating urge to consume it.  After many years of such behavior, it has become clear to me that my desire for chocolate is now starting to resemble an addiction.  And it is with this concept of addiction in mind, that I am going to start now in attempting to cure myself.

   I have never been a supermodel, but I have always tried to at least be relatively healthy.  It has come to my attention however, that in recent months/the past year, I am much less healthy than I normally am, and my quota of available clothing that still fits properly without creating that oh-so-attractive "stuffed sausage" look, is dwindling.  In retrospect, it is clear to me that chocolate is one of the main culprits in my lack of health/wardrobe these days.  Chocolate is my #1 vice, my comforter when I am blue, my security blanket when I am scared, and my proverbial "glass of champagne" when I feel like celebrating.  However chocolate and I, unfortunately, need to break up.  It has been one hell of a ride, there were good times, and there were great times; but now, for the sake of my health and my waistline, we must part ways.

   Thus begins the Great Chocolate Purge of 2011.  I am giving it up.  Cold turkey.  Behold the decimation.  This isn't to say that chocolate and I are completely through... there is a time and a place for chocolate.  And when I find myself in one of those special times or places, I will most certainly imbibe.  However those times and places are reserved for special things like celebrations, rare fancy meals out, and very traumatic life events when consuming chocolate is the only ineffective coping skill that will suffice.

   Therefore, as is likely already apparent, the purpose of this blog is to document my severance from chocolate dependence.  It is also going to be a tool with which I can hold myself accountable for my choices, and strive to become healthier.  I will post things like great, healthy recipes that I come across and don't burn in the kitchen; the top 10 reasons why I hate running; why gals with assets up top cannot survive with only one sports bra; any little successes I have (because who doesn't like patting themselves on the back?); and any hysterical and ridiculous trip-ups that happen along this journey that simply must be shared with the world. 

   So to start, I will make a confession.  Today at work I consumed an entire king size Hershey's bar.  You know, the ones that look like the size of a paperback novel?  The.  Whole.  Thing.  And I liked it.  It was like Christmas and school supply shopping all rolled into one divine experience.  It is a good thing I liked it, because it is the last chocolate I will be consuming until my birthday, in exactly 32 days.  This will be challenge number one. 

   This is gonna hurt. 
   A lot.