It is no secret that I haven't written here in quite a while. I'll be honest and tell you it is because I have been on one hell of a bender. Chocolate galore. Pizza here, gyros there. Clearly, eating copious amounts of CRAP is a very ingrained, unhealthy coping mechanism of mine. But I think I've finally reached the point where I am ready to knock it off and start doing the right things. This has become clear because I am going to make a public declaration about what I intend to do about it. So here goes...
I am re-joining Weight Watchers meetings. Yup. There. I said it.
As some of you may or may not know, I was a very successful Weight Watcher several years ago, and I lost almost 50 pounds on the program. At the time I was very shy about telling people what I was doing because it felt almost shameful to admit that I needed help in getting myself healthy. In fact, I hid my membership from most people. But this time around, I've changed my attitude about it. There is nothing wrong with admitting I need help and letting those around me know that I am strong enough to ask for it and seek it out. So this Saturday morning, I will be attending my first meeting of (what had freaking better be) the last time I "re-join" Weight Watchers.
I am actually very excited about jumping in and working on ending all of the self-destructive behaviors I've picked up over the past year (due to stress, emotional upheaval, and ineffective coping mechanisms). Seriously, chocolate has been a better therapist than the most decorated psychiatrist. But chocolate (coupled with all of the other crap I've ingested) has also seriously affected my body and my health, and it is time to call it quits, once and for all.
I am not worried in the least that the program won't work for me. To the contrary, I have hard evidence to prove that it will. First, I myself have been successful in the past. 50 pounds is nothing to sneeze at. Second, I have several close friends who have also kicked some serious tail while on the program. They, (one in particular... you know who you are... cheese and Arabic) have definitely inspired me and have given me clear proof that it is possible to shed the insane poundage that I have acquired, and become a healthier version of myself. I've also become inspired by reading about stranger WWers and the battles and victories they've experienced. In particular, I am terribly fond of "Bitch Cakes", a New York WWer who's blog is a constant source of inspiration and reality checks. She makes it clear that no one is perfect and that no weight-loss journey will be perfect, but that its OK, as long as you keep on going and don't give in to the cheese-pizza-chocolate despair.
So here we go. I'm kicking this thing off Saturday morning and I am actually going to DO IT this time. I've reached a place where the emotional disaster my mind has been in is starting to heal and I am not living in a black hole anymore where nothing matters, especially not my health or waistline. I am excited to re-claim myself, feel healthier, and do the right things for me. Weight Watchers will be the vehicle that I use to get myself there, and I am choosing not to hide it or feel ashamed about it. There is nothing wrong with asking for, and seeking out help. I have proven to myself, that I can't effectively do this on my own, so I am going out and finding the tools that I need to fix this.
So, now the cat is out of the bag. No need to worry about truly heinous secrets that I could have been hiding instead. Its not like I've taken up a crack addiction or anything...
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