Cake Diet = Win. My Week = Fail.

  I was in the company of some very good pals this morning when one of them informed me of her new "diet" plan.  She called it the Cake Diet.  The cake diet???  Clearly, I was instantly intrigued.  It simply consists of replacing meals with... CAKE.  Clearly she is a genius.  And clearly this is a farce and intended only for entertainment purposes/coping mechanisms for those of you out there thinking "man, Megan has some weird friends if they think a cake diet is a good idea".  However, there come times in a woman's life when if cake sounds like a sufficient meal replacement, then MORE FREAKING POWER TO YOU AND GET OUT OF MY WAY SO I CAN EAT SOME BLASTED CAKE!!  I would love to have the disciple to succeed on a cake diet, but alas, I am not a good candidate.  In fact, I am a known cake killer.  Cake poisoner to be exact.  When I have cake in the house, and I know I need to be responsible, I take drastic measures to make sure that I do not consume it.  I have actually sprayed the left-overs of a cake with Windex before I threw it away to ensure that I wouldn't have a "Miranda moment" and in a moment of weakness dive for the discarded cake in the garbage (if you don't watch "Sex and the City", then this scenario is going to sound WAY weirder than it already does). 

   However I wish my friend the best of luck and if she patents a Cake Diet program, then I expect some royalties for being the first to tout its praises...

   So Cake Diet aside, this week was something less than great...  I did really well last week sticking to the no chocolate and healthy eating, however this week I was met with a new and evil nemesis.  RED VELVET CAKE ICE CREAM.  Oh dear lord, I am no match for its red velvety goodness.  It was seriously like crack.  I couldn't stay away! It called to me from the freezer. I think I finished the whole carton in no less than two days (thus my 2 pound gain this week... fail).  I am vowing to never bring its evil persuasiveness into my apartment again because I cannot be responsible for my actions if it is present (and I don't want to subject it to my Windex punishment).  And yes, despite the fact that it is red, red velvet cake is simply chocolate cake with a hell of a lot of red food coloring, so I also failed on my "NO CHOCOLATE UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY" mission.  All in all, its been a crap-tastic health week.  You'd think it would have taken longer to fall off the wagon, but I apparently wanted to get it over with early...

   So here is to renewed accountability and to a better week.  No more evil red velvet ice cream in the house.  It is the devil (maybe that is why it's red...)

Soo... apparently it's working...

Week 1 with no chocolate = 3.8 pounds went away.  Maybe there is some method to the madness.  :)

I Should Have Seen It Coming...

   It has officially been one week since I quit chocolate.  Surprisingly, I haven't died.  Although I was going through my camera this afternoon and noticed a couple of pictures that I was going to use for a blog about how my lunch attacked me one morning.  Then it hit me.  Maybe... chocolate has been actually secretly trying to kill me...  From what I can remember of that morning, I was putting my lunch together and I was scooping some chocolate pudding into one of my plastic containers to bring to work.  Through some series of unfortunate events that I can't recall anymore, I believe the pudding either blew up, went rogue, or spontaneously combusted in some fashion because before I knew it, there was chocolate pudding everywhere.  Including all over me.  Behold:

 
   Not cool, chocolate.  Not cool.