Sunday, January 1, 2012

Resolutions are Stupid.

   Happy 2012 everyone!  I suppose now would be an appropriate time for a progress report on my WW journey and the past year (well, past couple of months anyway).  All in all, the holidays were not a total bust.  Yes, there was a several pound gain over the past month, but I am still below where I started, so I'll consider it a win.  I even attended my meeting and weighed in yesterday, despite knowing that I had gained and that my weight record card would forever memorialize my holiday indulgences.  But by sharing with the group my trepidation about coming to the meeting, and my victory over it by actually attending, I got a sticker from my leader.  So it was clearly worth it.  Stickers are awesome.  Hell yes to the BRAVO sticker for Megan.

   I don't know what it is about the new year, but it always instills in me a strong feeling of having a "fresh start".  I am not really one to make New Year's resolutions, so I'm not going to make any this year either, but I really am excited about the proverbial "blank slate" that the new year seems to bring.  So with that fresh start in mind, I am beginning 2012 with renewed resolve and motivation.  I have been sorely lacking in the activity department since re-joining WW, so I am planning on slowly working more movement into my week.  Starting today.  I am allowing that evil-genius-tae-bo-ing-freak Billy Blanks into my house this afternoon to kick my butt.  Billy and I had a great relationship once of regular butt-kickings, but sadly I have not invited him over in quite a long time.  So here goes.  I'll be hurting tomorrow for sure.

   I am also going to be making crock-pot lasagna this week, which I am very excited about.  Actually I had kind of forgotten about it until I was reading some of my past posts and saw the entry I had written about it.  BRING ON THE CHEESE.  See?  This blog just justified its existence to me!!  I am also planning on trying more new things this year (I think I'll tackle eggplant next), and I will try to not neglect this blog as much as I have lately... 5 weeks is too long to go silent. 

   Stay tuned for my account of the tae-bo induced butt-kickings.  I am not a crazy person, and I don't enjoy crowds (in fact I become homicidally angry in crowds) so I will not be buying into the cheap gym-memberships on offer this time of year.  My theory about new year's resolutions is that they generally do not last beyond the third week of January, so the initial wave of resolutioners at the gyms will probably be 95% gone by the first week of February anyway.  At that point I might consider taking advantage of my health insurance's partial reimbursement for memberships as an added incentive to work-out.  But until then, my host of home work-out DVDs will suffice to get my kiester moving again.  Happy New Year!!

 

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Brunch Experiments

  Today I had a good friend and her two boys (3 and 5) over for brunch.  What they didn't realize is that I was experimenting with them... testing out two new WW recipes.  Could I fool them into thinking that these were fully-leaded, traditional bad-for-you foods?  The game was on.

   I decided to make Bacon, Egg, and Cheddar Cups, along with Blueberry-Peach Yogurt Parfaits, then juice, milk, coffee and toast on the side.  Everything looked yummy and smelled yummy (at least to me), but what would my test subjects think??

   Here are a few pictures of my masterpieces:


 
   The parfaits turned out a little more... PURPLE than I expected, but I'm thinking that is due to the fact that I had to use canned peaches instead of fresh (because apparently you can't buy a peach in Minnesota in November.  Who knew?).  So I think the blueberries sort of had their way with the peaches in the saucepan, and succeeded in a hostile take-over.  Oh well.  It's not all about aesthetics.  Still looks pretty, just more in a purple-people-eater kind of way...



    And then the lovely egg cups.  I think these are adorable.  I actually went and bought these custard cups just for this recipe (they were less than $8 for four at Wal-Mart, so not a huge investment, but definitely huge rewards in terms of cuteness).  These have Canadian bacon, egg, cheddar cheese (reduced fat), sliced cherry tomatoes, and fat-free crushed Italian croutons on top.  I don't think brunch gets much cuter than this, folks.

    So how did the test subjects respond to such purple, cute, and tasty stimuli?

 Look at that smile!!


   A thumbs up!  I'd call this brunch experiment a success.  The test subjects responded positively to the experimental stimuli, and left the lab satisfied.

   Also, for an update on my progress, as of my meeting yesterday, I am down 7.8 pounds!  Yippee!!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Woah... Reality Check

   I was in a dear friend's wedding last weekend and I had a fabulous time.  I loved the dress I wore, I loved the way my hair turned out, I felt really pretty that day, and the wedding was a blast.  Today however, the photos turned up, and I started to feel less good about my appearance that day.  My entire feeling about the whole day changed drastically.  My formerly good feelings of confidence and pride about how nice I looked all gussied up were almost instantly replaced with a compulsive urge to un-tag myself in each and every one of those pictures on Facebook so that no one would see the embarrassing state I let myself get into over the past year.  However, I decided to refrain from the un-tagging party.  Those pictures will remain an active part of my profile.

   It occurred to me that defaulting to the cowardly act of un-tagging every time an unflattering picture of me surfaces, then I am going to miss out on having fun memories of special events that I was involved in.  The point is not what I looked like.  Instead, its about the fun time I had, and remembering those events for what they are, not what I looked like.  I need to learn to take the focus off of my appearance, and learn to enjoy things for the experience.  I can't let my perception of my appearance dictate whether or not I enjoy things.  I've spent too many special occasions obsessing about how I appear to others, rather than having a fun time with the important people in my life.  Right now, I am a work in progress and I need to remember that I am working toward a goal, but while I'm going through this process, I am allowed to have fun as well.

   I realized that there is a HUGE disparity between what I see and interpret in the mirror versus what I actually look like.  The photos are proof that my mental image of myself and the actual image are vastly different.  I'm chalking this up to the insanely fast weight gain that happened this past year.  My mind has not caught up to my body and I am still imagining myself as smaller than I actually am.  You might think that this would cause a problem, but I think it is a reality check that I needed.  When you imagine yourself healthier than you actually are, it is easy to become lax with the motivation to change.  With the reality check that these pictures provided, I have renewed motivation to keep up with WW and my crusade to get healthy because I am not happy or comfortable where I am right now.

   I've thought a lot about this, and I've come to a conclusion that I hope will keep me motivated throughout this journey: It is going to take TIME to get to my goal, however, every week that goes by that I am closer to that goal, is another week where I can look and feel better than the week before.  The concept of "baby steps" is incredibly frustrating for me (I am a big fan of instant gratification), but I need to embrace it.  Right now I am just going to focus on getting to the 10 pound mark (right now I am at 6.6 pounds lost).  And I am going to keep the wedding pictures up to remind myself to stay motivated (I'm also going to try to hang on to the good feelings I had about how I looked that day, and get rid of the bad ones).  Here are a few pics from the day.  I think everyone looked absolutely beautiful and I wish my friends Michelle and Barry a very happy future together!
 

   The bride is my beautiful friend Michelle.  The other bridesmaids are (in order left to right) the bride's sister, Mary, me, and the bride's daughter, Adrienne.  The flower girl is Michelle's niece, Madison.

   This is the whole wedding party.

  And finally, what has been dubbed my "Secret Agent 007" picture.  Bad ass.  You'd think my flowers could transform into an uzi...

Monday, October 31, 2011

Spaghetti Squash Fail.

   I was seduced last week by several WW members that were singing the praises of the spaghetti squash.  They said it was an awesome substitute for pasta, would be a great way to incorporate vegetables, and just in general pretty much rocked.  A vegetable as an alternative for pasta?  Seriously?  I was skeptical, but decided to drink the Kool-Aid and give it a whirl.  What was the worst that could happen?

   So I went to the store, armed with a Google image of what this stupid thing was supposed to look like.  Fortunately for me, the Googling was not necessary because there was a sticker on the thing telling me exactly which one was the infamous and magical spaghetti squash.  I placed it in my cart, already feeling superior to those around me because I was making a decidedly healthy choice over their Doritos and TGI Friday's boxed, frozen appetizers.  Huzzah.

   I finished my shopping and brought my new prized possession home.  Behold:


   THE MIGHTY SPAGHETTI SQUASH.  Complete with idiot-proof label and cooking instructions.  I was ready to conquer this beast.  Step #1: it had to die:

   ... and have it's guts scraped out...


   GUTTTTTS....
 
   Thus far, this was turning out to be exceedingly similar to carving a pumpkin, one of my favorite fall activities.  Also, it occurs to me as I am writing this that the poor squash really was subjected to a medieval-style execution.  Clearly it was a treasonous squash to incur such a punishment. In any event, I was beginning to feel like a caveman that had just discovered fire.  This.  Was.  AWESOME.

   Next, I put  both halves in the microwave for 10 minutes, as suggested by the directions.  When the microwave was done, I brought out my glorious conquest and dove in to begin the fun part; scraping the insides with a fork to make the lovely noodle shaped pieces like I'd seen on the YouTube video showing how to prepare a spaghetti squash.  It was at this moment that my confidence began to waver... I wasn't getting the nice noodly shapes I was expecting, despite my correct fork-scraping technique.  Also, I tasted a small piece and it was unpleasantly crunchy.  I am not an al dente pasta fan, so crunchy noodles are simply not acceptable.  In the hope of fixing the crunchy texture and still achieving the perfect pasta substitute, I put the thing back in the microwave for another five minutes.  This slightly improved the crunchy texture, but I was still not seeing the result I was hoping for.

   My next step was to try to saute the not-very-noodly-squash-insides-that-were-actually-more-like gobs-of-wet-dryer-lint with some olive oil and garlic (as suggested by one of the WW members).  Maybe that would improve the consistency and magically morph this yellow glop into pasta...


   Still not pasta.  But I resolved to be a trooper and pretend anyway.  So I finished preparing the additional elements of my dinner to top the yellow crap I had just haphazardly prepared.  So I sauteed some sausage...


  ... added some tomato pasta sauce...


... and then topped my "spaghetti" with the sausage, sauce and some mozzarella cheese.  The end result looked pretty at least:


   I made a valiant effort to eat my creation in its entirely but I am sad to report that I failed.  I got through about a third of it, then proceeded to just pick out the sausage and cheesy bits and leave the nasty squash behind.  I suppose I should clarify that no, I did not expect a vegetable to taste and feel exactly like pasta, but I was hoping for a bit more of a similarity than what actually transpired in my kitchen.  Even though I am a die-hard squash hater, I still gave the icky spaghetti squash a try and now I can honestly say GROSS when someone asks if I like it or not.  My answer is a great big "hell no".  Oh well.  At least now I know.  On to bigger and better things.  I'm thinking my next experiment will be an eggplant.  Recipe ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Heck Yes.

So my first week back on WW and attending meetings yielded a loss of 3.2 pounds.  And that was even with 2 days in Wisconsin Dells that involved multiple trips to the "Sweet Shop".  Kick ass.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Lasagna is Awesome. Incidentally, so am I.

   New recipe time!  As you know, I returned to WW meetings last week, and there was an especially delectable looking recipe in the "Getting Started" materials that I had to try.  The recipe was for slow-cooker lasagna.  Having an insatiable lust for all things cheese, pasta and tomato related, naturally the recipe was irresistible.  So today was experiment day.  I am happy to report that it turned out FABULOUSLY!  The following is a pictorial depiction of my cooking experience.

   First, a look at the simple ingredients involved in today's culinary success:


  Next, the creation of the sauce.  It is still surprising to me that one can actually make really yummy pasta sauce without having to actually purchase pasta sauce in a jar.  All I did here was use a can of crushed tomatoes and a can of plain tomato sauce, and mix it with ground beef, onion, garlic, and a few spices.  It tastes just as good as the pasta sauce out of a jar, but I'll bet its a whole lot healthier, and lets be honest, few things smell better than sauteing onion and garlic.  Here is my concoction:


  Now we get to the awesome building phase.  There is something about layering food that is very amusing.  I think it has something to do with satisfying my OCD tendencies... First I put a layer of sauce in the bottom of the crock pot, then a layer of no-cook lasagna noodles (the coolest invention ever), and finally a layer of the ricotta/mozzarella mixture.  Repeat.  Easy-peasy!





  Then comes my favorite part of any crock-pot related recipe.  COOKING.  Set that baby on low and forget about it for 4-6 hours!


   This is why the crock-pot is so magical.  All of the above steps happened around noon today.  Then I was able to leave the house, run a few errands, come home, watch a movie, and smell the glorious lasagna smell all afternoon.  Then it was as if I had my own personal chef in the kitchen who had just made me dinner when it came time to eat tonight!  Love it!  The last step in the recipe is to top the finished product with some mozzarella and parmesan, and put the lid back on for about 10 minutes so it gets all melty and gooey.  Behold:


    CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESY.

   I added a slice of garlic bread and viola!!  Dinner is ready!


   And since this recipe makes 6 servings, I have enough to last me for several more meals!  I'm going to try to freeze a couple of them and see how that goes...


   I'll admit the finished product is a little bit messy.  There are no lovely layered squares to look at, but who cares!  It doesn't have to be pretty as long as it tastes good!  I was actually surprised by the amount of food included in one serving (especially the cheese), but according to WW, the whole works is only 10 points per serving.  Heck yes.

   All in all, I'd say this recipe was a culinary success in my kitchen today.  Score for WW.  I heart cheese.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

OK. Secret Time...

   It is no secret that I haven't written here in quite a while.  I'll be honest and tell you it is because I have been on one hell of a bender.  Chocolate galore.  Pizza here, gyros there.  Clearly, eating copious amounts of CRAP is a very ingrained, unhealthy coping mechanism of mine.  But I think I've finally reached the point where I am ready to knock it off and start doing the right things.  This has become clear because I am going to make a public declaration about what I intend to do about it.  So here goes...

   I am re-joining Weight Watchers meetings.  Yup.  There.  I said it.

   As some of you may or may not know, I was a very successful Weight Watcher several years ago, and I lost almost 50 pounds on the program.  At the time I was very shy about telling people what I was doing because it felt almost shameful to admit that I needed help in getting myself healthy.  In fact, I hid my membership from most people. But this time around, I've changed my attitude about it.  There is nothing wrong with admitting I need help and letting those around me know that I am strong enough to ask for it and seek it out.  So this Saturday morning, I will be attending my first meeting of (what had freaking better be) the last time I "re-join" Weight Watchers.

   I am actually very excited about jumping in and working on ending all of the self-destructive behaviors I've picked up over the past year (due to stress, emotional upheaval, and ineffective coping mechanisms).  Seriously, chocolate has been a better therapist than the most decorated psychiatrist.  But chocolate (coupled with all of the other crap I've ingested) has also seriously affected my body and my health, and it is time to call it quits, once and for all.

   I am not worried in the least that the program won't work for me.  To the contrary, I have hard evidence to prove that it will.  First, I myself have been successful in the past.  50 pounds is nothing to sneeze at.  Second, I have several close friends who have also kicked some serious tail while on the program.  They, (one in particular... you know who you are... cheese and Arabic) have definitely inspired me and have given me clear proof that it is possible to shed the insane poundage that I have acquired, and become a healthier version of myself.  I've also become inspired by reading about stranger WWers and the battles and victories they've experienced.  In particular, I am terribly fond of "Bitch Cakes", a New York WWer who's blog is a constant source of inspiration and reality checks.  She makes it clear that no one is perfect and that no weight-loss journey will be perfect, but that its OK, as long as you keep on going and don't give in to the cheese-pizza-chocolate despair.

   So here we go.  I'm kicking this thing off Saturday morning and I am actually going to DO IT this time.  I've reached a place where the emotional disaster my mind has been in is starting to heal and I am not living in a black hole anymore where nothing matters, especially not my health or waistline.  I am excited to re-claim myself, feel healthier, and do the right things for me.  Weight Watchers will be the vehicle that I use to get myself there, and I am choosing not to hide it or feel ashamed about it.  There is nothing wrong with asking for, and seeking out help.  I have proven to myself, that I can't effectively do this on my own, so I am going out and finding the tools that I need to fix this.

   So, now the cat is out of the bag.  No need to worry about truly heinous secrets that I could have been hiding instead.  Its not like I've taken up a crack addiction or anything...